As a palliative care nurse, how can I support patients and families in making decisions about end-of-life care, including advance care planning and hospice enrollment?

I spent a lot of time reading about death, dying and grief. I encourage any nurse to do this. It helps you understand things fundamentally from a “what happens to the body during the dying process” and also should help you understand that everyone deals with grief differently. It is not linear. You can go back and forth between stages of grief for years. It’s important to relate and be present for every family member and to talk openly about the process. You’ll find that children generally recover more quickly. They are more concerned with the physicality of the person (“when can I see them again?”) You’ll also recognize extended grief and know how to properly refer people to necessary support. I always encourage everyone to stay in the moment. Don’t let them bypass the death planning the funeral. There is time for all of that after. I also encourage family to ask questions (if vocal) to the person dying, I think asking questions soothes fears. I asked my own Daddy through tear-filled eyes if he was scared to die and he said no. That brought me so much peace.

Be honest and ask questions with open end questions. Listen to their feelings. Explain why palliative care would benefit the patient and family. Go from there. Always show compassion and knowledge of hospice.